Hen and I were asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting today. Here is a video to our talks and the text is also provided.
Good Morning Brothers and Sisters.
Since it’s been a few years since we last spoke, I will share a brief introduction about my wife and myself.
I am Henry Becker and I grew up in Connecticut and Virginia. I currently work as an Aircraft Maintenance Technician for Delta Airlines and am currently moonlighting as a student in the mortuary science program at Salt Lake Community College. My wife is thrilled I only have one semester left.
So currently half my days are working to keep airplanes and passengers safe and the other half of my days are spent in pursuit of my future retirement career of helping those who have graduated this life and their families.
While these two professions couldn’t be further from each other, in both professions I am able to help people and enjoy different areas of problem solving. And since I am a car guy, let’s face it, I can’t wait to have a sweet hearse in the driveway one day. Of course, Kara is not super excited for that day to come.
In my spare time, which is basically nonexistent, I enjoy fixing old Mercedes, or expensive paperweights as my wife likes to call them.
My wife, Kara, and I have been married for over 13 years now and have lived in this ward for almost 3 years. We live in the house with the crazy amount of inflatables and even crazier 3 dogs, or mini ponies to some, known as Charlie, Oscar, and Lucy.
My wife Kara works as the Financial Controller for a mutual fund company and has been there for 15 years now. We enjoy traveling, spending time with family, and playing games.
Kara and I also enjoy the privilege each week of serving in the Bountiful Temple as Ordinance Workers. She works there on Saturdays and my shift is on Tuesdays.
For those who know me, know I am can be a bit of a, let’s say a “handful” or “character”, to put it lightly. Which is why it is important to note that my wife heavily edits my talks, and I am never allowed to just “wing it” …
Case in point
I was recently working my shift at the Bountiful Temple and was sitting in the sealing office with myself and 3 other sealers. When I struck up the conversation with the other brethren there to find out what they did for work.
To one gentleman I said, “Do you still work” he replied, “I do”.
I said, “What do you do for work?”, he replied “I work for the church”,
and my response was “what do you do, computers or something”,
and one of the other brothers looked at me and said, “he’s a seventy.”,
and I said, “seventy what?”,
and at that moment my shift coordinator who knows me well, very quickly said “Henry Stop It”
Another example was in a prayer meeting at the temple one day, we were discussing security measures if someone were to try to come into the temple to cause harm at the recommend desk.
The brother leading the discussion asked how we should handle it? My response to the group was “I’d club em”. Which was clearly not the response they were looking for…
Now, on to the messages I have prepared to share with you today that are on Gratitude and Gratefulness. I am grateful for so many things my life. Not only for my lovely wife but also to everything the Lord has blessed us with including our jobs, home and to be part of His great church here on the earth. I know more than just believe, that there is an afterlife and that our loved ones are there waiting to greet us. Having the opportunity just to be able to return to the temple and perform ordinances for our ancestors is a huge blessing in all our lives.
I am so grateful to be able to live close to so many temples. Others in this world are not so fortunate. In the conference talk titled Miracles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ by Elder Carlos G Revillo Jr. he tells a story about The Obedoza family.
Quote “Brother and Sister Obedoza’s greatest desire was to be sealed to their family in the Manila Temple. They lived in General Santos City, 1,000 miles away from Manila. For the family of nine, making the journey to the temple seemed impossible. But like the merchant man who went and sold all he had to buy one pearl of great price, this couple decided to sell their house to pay for the trip. Sister Obedoza was worried because they would have no home to return to. But Brother Obedoza assured her that the Lord would provide.
They were sealed as a family for time and all eternity in the temple in 1985. In the temple they found joy incomparable—their priceless pearl. And true to Brother Obedoza’s words, the Lord did provide. On their return from Manila, kind acquaintances gave them places to stay, and they eventually acquired their own home. The Lord takes care of those who demonstrate their faith in Him.” End Quote
This example and others, can help us to appreciate how accessible temples are to us and should motivate us not to take them for granted. It is important that we don’t just go to the temple once in a lifetime or once a year, but go as often as our schedules allow. And if our schedules don’t allow, we may just need to reprioritize some things to make the time.
I love this quote by Elder Gary E Stevenson "You are never lost when you can see the temple. The temple will provide direction for you and your family in a world filled with chaos. It is an eternal guidepost which will help you from getting lost in the 'mist of darkness.'" End Quote
Another great quote is by Elder David B. Haight “A temple is a place in which those whom He has chosen are endowed with power from on high—a power which enables us to use our gifts and capabilities—to bring to pass our Heavenly Father's purposes in our own lives and the lives of those we love."
And lastly, I will share this quote from President Gordon B Hinckley "Just as our Redeemer gave His life as a vicarious sacrifice for all men, and in so doing became our Savior, even so we, in a small measure, when we engage in proxy work in the temple, become as saviors to those on the other side." End Quote
In preparing for this talk, I came across a talk by Bonnie D Parkin, former Relief Society General President, titled Gratitude : A Path to Happiness
She shares the following counsel, Quote “Gratitude requires awareness and effort, not only to feel it but to express it. Frequently we are oblivious to the Lord’s hand. We murmur, complain, resist, criticize; so often we are not grateful. In the Book of Mormon, we learn that those who murmur do not know “the dealings of that God who … created them.” The Lord counsels us not to murmur because it is then difficult for the Spirit to work with us.
Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. Through it, we become spiritually aware of the wonder of the smallest things, which gladden our hearts with their messages of God’s love. This grateful awareness heightens our sensitivity to divine direction. When we communicate gratitude, we can be filled with the Spirit and connected to those around us and the Lord. Gratitude inspires happiness and carries divine influence. “Live in thanksgiving daily,” said Amulek, “for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you.”
Mercies and blessings come in different forms—sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.” All things means just that: good things, difficult things—not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love.” End Quote
I know in my own life when I am struggling, if I take the time to focus more on the blessings in my life rather than all of the hard things I am facing, I am able to find more joy and peace amidst the chaos. I have also noticed that I feel the Spirit the strongest when I listen to hymns, or children singing primary songs, or when I have performed ordinances for close family members in the temple.
In closing I would like to share that I do have a strong testimony of the Savior and his love for us. I also have a testimony of gratitude and gratefulness. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Kara's Talk
I am grateful for the opportunity to share my prepared thoughts and messages with you this day. I am also grateful for your presence, because it would be a little weird to be speaking to an empty room.
In preparing for this talk, the thoughts came to my mind, what in the world could I possibly share about gratefulness and gratitude that hasn’t already been shared a hundred times over?
But maybe it doesn’t matter the words I share, but more importantly how the Spirit touches you through these messages.
My prayer is that hopefully something that I share today will help us all to find some light amidst the daily darkness we encounter.
The young women know how much I love quotes so I am going to share a few now on gratitude that I love:
“Gratitude, turns what we have, into enough”
“It is not Happy People who are grateful, it is Grateful People that are happy”
For my Winnie the pooh fans “Piglet noticed, that even though, he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude.”
“The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see”
President Nelson “ I have concluded that counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems. No matter our situation, showing gratitude for our privileges is a unique, fast-acting, and long-lasting spiritual prescription. Simply stated, “In every thing give thanks””
For some reason I have been inspired to talk about two things today and both start with a T.
Yes, you guessed it. The two obvious or not so obvious topics that accompany a talk on Gratitude.
Trials and Tender Mercies.
For years I had heard people say that we need to be grateful for our trials, and I always had a really hard time wrapping my head around that concept. How can someone who is suffering be thankful for that pain? Whether it be Spiritual, Emotional, or Physical?
It’s always easier to be grateful for a trial when it’s over. When we have survived and come out the other side. when we have a better perspective and can identify some purpose or learning that came from that trial. But unfortunately, some trials are something we endure for very long periods of time, and some for an entire lifetime.
Like all of you, I have had my fair share of trials. Unfortunately, if I really think about it, most of my trials have been self inflicted and many I still battle daily. How can we be grateful for trials that never seem to end?
President Nelson gave us all the answer.
Quote “My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.
When the focus of our lives is on God’s plan of salvation, and Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives. Joy comes from and because of Him. He is the source of all joy. We feel it at Christmastime when we sing, “Joy to the world, the Lord is come.” And we can feel it all year round. For Latter-day Saints, Jesus Christ is joy!” End Quote
I know this has been requoted many times, in church talks, general conference, and lessons, but I think it is because it is the answer to so much of the pain and anguish we struggle with everyday.
I believe this joy comes in the form of Tender Mercies in our everyday lives. I would like to share a personal example with you now.
This story we will call Pumpkin Cart Mayhem
Back in October 2012, while serving in the young women of our old ward in woods cross, we had all gone up to Black Island Farms in Syracuse to do the corn maze.
I haven’t been there in years, so not sure if they still have them, but there were these slides they had built out of haybales that went really high. On the back side is a rope that you use to pull yourself up as you climb up the haybales, and then of course you slide down the other side.
It is important to note that I did make it up successfully my first time and slid down the other side no issue, but of course no one saw me do it.
Some of the young women said they were too nervous to try and of course I said, Come on now, if Sister Becker can do it than anyone can.
I went to start climbing the rope a second time to show them how to do it, except this time as I put my left knee up on the first haybale and started to pull, I felt a very familiar pop in my knee. Instant nausea came over me and I felt like I could pass out. I sent the girls to go find the bishopric member that had come with us because I could not put any weight on my leg.
I do have to say that I am pretty proud of myself for holding back the tears and trying to be tough in front of the girls.
Leaning on the brother I tried to hobble but soon realized it was a losing battle, so he went in search of a wheelchair. After a few minutes passed, I see him heading towards me, but not with a wheelchair.
Oh it had wheels all right. It was in fact a pumpkin cart.
But I was grateful for this pumpkin cart and of course, as I was wheeled through a hundred people (of course it had to be busy that night), with the girls yelling behind me, Sis Becker this is going on Facebook! We all had a good laugh. Somehow I was able to drive myself and the girls home that night. But believe me after the garage door closed the tears were abundant from pain and utter humiliation.
Next I was diagnosed with a torn ACL which I knew was the case from the familiar pain from when I tore my ACL in my right knee at the age of 15 and had reconstructive surgery back then.
Ok so I promise the tender mercy part is coming up. Ok well almost.
So next was my ACL surgery and of course it was December and winter and icy. And even though Hen and I had been married for 4 years at the time, he was working and living in Las Vegas. To make matters worse, our toilet off our master bedroom flooded down the wall and into the bathroom below it. So we had people tearing up our bathrooms to repair everything while I was crutches and having to go up and down stairs to use opposite bathrooms.
So needless to say, I had quite a few trials I was dealing with back to back to back.
But amidst those trials I had many tender mercies.
First I had my parents nearby that let me stay with them, even though I was off to a bad start when I had difficulty managing the two steps on crutches to get into their house right after my surgery. They took me in and took care of me.
Actually funny story, while I was at my parents house, my niece, CoCo, who some of you know, stopped by who was then 3 at the time, came over to the couch threw off the blanket covering my knees and yelled “your healed! your healed!” Unfortunately, I wasn’t healed, maybe I didn’t have enough faith, but we were all wondering where in the world she picked that up from.
Other tender mercies came in the form of friends helping with the dogs, and bringing me ice for my ice man, and dinners.
And then came my work Christmas party in December and every year they have raffles for different prizes. I won the two biggest prizes that year. One was a cash prize that couldn’t have come at a better time to help pay for the damaged bathrooms, and the second prize was the charity raffle where I got to choose the charity that would be receiving a $15,000 donation.
All of these tender mercies reminded me that the Lord had not forgotten me and that he was very aware of my needs and did not desert me during these trials in my life.
There was a great talk in our last General Conference by Elder Anthony D. Perkins of the Seventy titled Remember Thy Suffering Saints, O God.
If you don’t remember it or haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. It is one that I am sure I will reread several times in the future.
Here are some excerpts from that talk that really stood out to me. And believe me, it was really difficult to whittle it down, if I had the time, I would read the whole thing.
Quote “How can you possibly endure the unique and sometimes debilitating suffering that comes to each of us?
Gratefully, hope is found in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and hope can also be part of your life.
First, suffering does not mean God is displeased with your life. Two thousand years ago, Jesus’s disciples saw a blind man at the temple and asked, “Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?”
His disciples seemed to incorrectly believe, as do far too many people today, that all hardship and suffering in life are the result of sin. But the Savior replied, “Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.”
The work of God is to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life. But how can trials and suffering—especially suffering imposed by another person’s sinful use of agency—ultimately advance God’s work?
The Lord told His covenant people, “I have refined thee … ; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.” Whatever the cause of your sufferings, your loving Heavenly Father can direct them to refine your soul. Refined souls can bear others’ burdens with true empathy and compassion. Refined souls who have come “out of great tribulation” are prepared to joyfully live in God’s presence forever, and “God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.”
Second, Heavenly Father is intimately aware of your suffering. While in the midst of trials, we can mistakenly think that God is far away and unconcerned with our pain.
The Lord’s answer reassured Joseph and all who suffer:
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.”
Third, Jesus Christ offers His enabling power to help you have strength to endure your suffering well. This enabling power is made possible through His Atonement.
The Book of Mormon teaches that Jesus Christ would “take upon him” our pains, sicknesses, and infirmities so He can succor us. How can you draw upon the power that Jesus Christ offers to succor you and strengthen you in times of suffering? The key is binding yourself to the Savior by keeping the covenants you have made with Him. We make these covenants as we receive priesthood ordinances.
Fourth, choose to find joy each day. Those who suffer often feel that the night just goes on and on, and daylight will never come. It is OK to weep. Yet, if you find yourself in dark nights of suffering, by choosing faith you can awake to bright mornings of rejoicing.
I testify that our Heavenly Father remembers His suffering Saints, loves you, and is intimately aware of you. Our Savior knows how you feel. “Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows.” I know—as a daily recipient—that keeping covenants unlocks the power of Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice to provide strength and even joy to you who suffer.
“End Quote”
In closing I just want to share some of the things I feel grateful for today and my testimony:
I am so grateful for this Ward. For your friendships, your patience, your encouragement. The hardest part about moving from Woods Cross 3 years ago was leaving our ward and our friends behind where we felt so at home. I am grateful for the opportunity I have had to teach in Relief Society to get to know you sweet sisters and the opportunity I have had these last couple of years serving in Young Womens and getting to know them. They have taught me so much. The light of Christ shines brightly through their eyes. They truly are the chosen generation, and I am grateful for the precious memories, experiences, and let’s face it, fun that we have had. I am also so grateful for the leaders that I work with and the opportunity I have had to get to know them and make friendships that I know will last for a long time. So I guess what I am trying to say, is thank you for kindness and warmth in helping us to feel at home here.
I am also so grateful for the Temple, for the opportunity I have to spend time there each Saturday. It has truly changed me in more ways that I could have ever thought possible. I am touched by the Spirit there weekly by the people that come, the ordinances I am performing, or through personal revelation.
I am so grateful for my family. I would not trade any of them for the world, yes that includes you, Hen. I am grateful for our temple marriage and our temple covenants that help us to stay on the right track. And for our 3 furry kids that bring so much joy, comfort, and humor to our lives.
I am grateful for trials and tender mercies. Trials that have taught me that I don’t have to carry my burdens alone and have taught me to have compassion for others. And the tender mercies and answered prayers that I have received over the years that have helped me to get out of bed one more day and try again.
Lastly, I want to share my testimony with you. After driving home from the Temple a week ago The thought came to mind, “people think that you can buy anything in this world with money,” And immediately the response came to my mind “you can’t buy a testimony”.
Before I share my testimony I thought it may be useful to someone to understand what a testimony is.
The definition of a testimony is a spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have the sacred opportunity and responsibility to obtain their own testimonies. Having obtained a testimony, each member has a duty to nurture it throughout their life.” end quote
For each of the items I will be sharing, the Holy Ghost has testified to my heart and mind that these things are true on more than one occasion in my life in such a way, that I am unable to deny it. The Holy Ghost speaks differently to everyone because we are all different. For me sometimes it is thoughts I know are not my own, or a warm comforting feeling, and sometimes I am driven to tears because of the overwhelming feelings of my Spirit recognizing a truth that our Father in Heaven and Savior Jesus Christ want me to know.
I have a testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ and of our Heavenly Father that they are real. That we were made in their image, that they love us more than we can ever comprehend, and their wish is that we will turn to them in our joys and in our trials.
I have a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ which was restored to the earth by the Prophet Joseph Smith.
I have a testimony of the Bible and the Book of Mormon and am a better person because of the truths and learning that have come when I have studied their pages.
I have a testimony of a life hereafter. At special times I have felt the presence of those who have since passed away, close to me. I know this mortal life is not the end.
I have a testimony that our Savior, Jesus Christ lived and died for us so that we may know how to live to return to be with him and our Father in Heaven for eternity.
I have a testimony of our current Prophet, President Russell M Nelson and have felt the spirit strongly in his presence. I have a testimony of our Apostles and learn so much from them with every conference talk.
I have a testimony of temples, and the covenants we make with our Heavenly Father there. Temples are truly a House of the Lord in every sense of the phrase.
I have a testimony of baptism and the cleansing power it gives because of our Saviors sacrifice for us. I have a testimony of repentance. It is through this process that our Savior and the Holy Ghost can change our hearts and minds for the better.
I have a testimony as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, that there is no other place on earth that has the fullness of our Saviors gospel and priesthood authority to administer in His name.
I have a testimony of the Holy Ghost who is my constant companion. A day does not go by without his influence in my life. Comforting me, guiding me, and helping me to make better decisions.
I am so grateful for my testimony. It is by far my most precious possession and pray daily that I never lose it. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer, our Advocate with the Father, our Elder Brother, and our Friend. Amen.
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