Got Questions About Me???

If you are reading this blog, all 2 of you, I thought you may have some questions I am going to attempt to answer.

Why is she soooo longwinded?

Why is she writing all of this down? Has she always kept a journal?

Why is she so convinced of what she is sharing as if it is fact, and not just belief?

First of all, I have no business working on this post right now, but it is likely another attempt at procrastinating my first Gospel Doctrine Lesson that will be a week from today. I have jotted down some thoughts and began preparing and studying for it, only problem at this point is that nothing is organized and is in a state of very rough draft. 

Also the problem that I am having is that I am finding so much good information so it is hard to pare down and figure out what it is the Lord wants me to share out of the gazillion resources and information I have come across.

So humor me for a few minutes while I attempt to answer some of these "assumed" questions. If there are additional questions you have for me, you are welcome to put them in the comments.

This blog is basically smaller than a needle in a haystack, if you have found it on the world wide web and happen to be reading it. As you know it is not password protected and it is me just basically dumping my thoughts, feelings, and experiences into a keyboard every so often. 

Why is she soooo longwinded?

I think this stems from my current life experiences and outcome. I have grown over the years to love the Gospel of Jesus Christ, to have a solid foundation of my Savior and his teachings found in Scripture (King James Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price) in addition to years of church attendance, service in callings, and conference talks. As my testimony has grown and grown over the years, it has always made me sad that I do not have children with whom I can share this knowledge with. My husband and I have accepted that we will not be having children in this life after 13 years of trying for biological children, and also going down roads of fostering children, and the opportunity lost on adoption of two very special boys. So I think part of it is, this is my way of letting out of my head, heart, and spirit those things that I would share with my children, if we had our own. 

I am also longwinded because my husband and I have two very opposite schedules for work. Generally when I am working he is either at school or other commitments, and whenever I am home he is at work. Most of the time we are two ships passing very tired in the night and a lot of my time is spent alone with our dogs. Don't get me wrong, I am really not complaining about it too much. I am a very independent person and after so many years of living this way, am quite used to much of my time away from work being just with the dogs. Not surprising, as I was typing that last sentence, my Saint Bernard Lucy came to me whining to give her some attention. 

Hen and I have had 7 dogs together in our 13 years together. 4 of which have crossed the rainbow bridge and we currently have 3. Charlie (Golden Retriever 7 1/2 years old, Oscar (Bloodhound 7 1/2 years old), and Lucy (Saint Bernard 2 1/2 years old). All of our dogs over the years have truly felt like children to us, each weighing in over 100 pounds and requiring so much care between food, grooming, vet bills, and personal training and attention. They have all been so different but each has been meant for our family. Sorry, I got off topic for a minute. Back to the question on hand.

Also I think I get some of my long-windedness from my Dad. Sorry Dad, you know I love ya! But I spent a significant amount of time editing a book he had published a few years ago, and let's just say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree....

Why is she writing all of this down? Has she always kept a journal?

When I was a child and started keeping a journal I would write things like what I ate that day and it was pretty boring, nothing really worth reading. As I got older I felt like the experiences I would have written would not have been anything I would have ever wanted anyone to read. My teenage years were filled with lots of mistakes and regrets, but there were some silver linings, and clearly some very special Spiritual experiences that left impressions on me that would help to shape me later in life. There is a post where I share many of those struggles in a video during a young women's lesson. The link can be found in the post titled "Catching Up" August 17th 2021 if you are really curious. Anyway, again I digress. 

When Henry and I were dating in the early part of 2008, at the age of 25, I started my first blog: http://aggiebear.blogspot.com/  This blog became a kind of journal of our memories together over the years, but I rarely share things of the Spirit on there and it is more or less a scrapbook of pictures and stories of our time together. It wasn't until I started working at the Bountiful Temple last June that I was inspired to keep a recording of my Spiritual experiences. I am so grateful for that prompting. I even go back and reread my own posts and am inspired by the things I have written down and quotes I have shared.

Another large reason for my writing this down is my memory. I have noticed a giant decline over the last ten years. Some could say it is age, but honestly at 38, I should not have this much memory loss. I frankly would not be surprised one bit if someone looked into a crystal ball and told me that I would have dementia or Alzheimer's as some point in my life. I can't remember what I wore yesterday, even if you paid me. Luckily for me, a lot of things in my job have been repetitious and my memory still remains strong in processes and things needed to do my job well, but pretty much most other information is slowly leaving me bit by bit with memories being the first to go. I am very grateful to have also been prompted to start my other blog when Hen and I were dating. That blog is my memory when Hen's isn't available. Luckily for me Hen's memory is better than an Elephant's and somehow as time passes seems to hold more and more information. It is also for this memory reason that there is a high likelihood I will repeat stories or favorite quotes and scriptures, simply for the fact that I do not remember I have already shared these things. So my apologies in advance.

Lastly, I think my hope is, that maybe some family member or friend can be inspired or touched in some way from my experiences, or be able to learn something from my experience to help them on their own path in life. Maybe when I am long graduated from this life, a niece or nephew will stumble upon this and be able to know that their Aunt Kara had a strong testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ and that helps them in some way to strengthen their own testimony. 

Why is she so convinced of what she is sharing as if it is fact, and not just belief?  In my 38 years of life I have learned a person can convince themselves of anything and yet, there are things that just can't be denied. Sure, could I convince myself that the things I learned as a member of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, are true with no Spiritual Witness, I guess, yes that would be possible. But why would I? Why would anyone? It has been the feelings the Holy Ghost has brought to my mind, my heart, and my Spirit that have cemented my testimony in our Savior. He is my friend, my Redeemer, my Advocate with the Father, and my Elder Brother. Without his help, I would never have made it this far in life. I have many friends who have left the church and I wish I could ask those that have chosen not to believe, but "What if it is all true? What then? Will you have regrets? I would love to help bring you back to find these feelings of peace and joy that can only be found when we understand that we are Children of God, and because of this we have priceless worth to our Savior and Heavenly Father. Our Saviors Atonement was not just a sacrifice for a few, but for all who chose his plan before coming to this earth and gained a body. The mere fact that we are here with a body proves that we all chose Him once before. If you are wondering what on earth I am talking about, you can read the first 4 chapters of this Gospel Principles Book. If I hadn't had the influence of the Holy Ghost on so many occasions that I can no longer deny his existence, I am sure this blog would not even exist and I would be a very different person.

Link to Gospel Principles Book 

Lastly,  I would like to acknowledge that I know that your time is very precious, thank you for sharing it with me and allowing me to be heard by more than just my puppy dogs.  I hope my words have been useful to you in some way now or will be in the future.

Sincerely, 

Me