Fathers Day

 

Yesterday while in prayer meeting at the temple, the sister conducting shared this quote, "Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar his face is to us."

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1988/12/jesus-christ-gifts-and-expectations?lang=eng

"God loves us. He is watching us. He wants us to succeed. We will know some day that He has not left one thing undone for the eternal welfare of each of us. If we only knew it, heavenly hosts are pulling for us—friends in heaven that we cannot now remember who yearn for our victory. This is our day to show what we can do—what life and sacrifice we can daily, hourly, instantly make for God. If we give our all, we will get His all from the greatest of all.

Give God your best, and His best will come back to you."

On this fathers day, my thoughts turn to our Heavenly Father, who created us. He is ever present and has so much love for us that he gave his only begotten Son so that we could have the opportunity to live with Him for eternity. We speak to Him in prayer, He listens, and answers. Maybe not in the timing that we think is best for us, but He answers in the timing that He knows is best for us. The closing song in sacrament meeting today was "I am a Child of God". I was so grateful for that reminder of whose we are. 

1. I am a child of God,

And he has sent me here,

Has given me an earthly home

With parents kind and dear.

[Chorus]

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,

Help me find the way.

Teach me all that I must do

To live with him someday.

2. I am a child of God,

And so my needs are great;

Help me to understand his words

Before it grows too late.

3. I am a child of God.

Rich blessings are in store;

If I but learn to do his will

I’ll live with him once more.

I also love the new YW Theme that begins: "I am a beloved daughter of Heavenly Parents, with a divine nature and eternal destiny." How powerful a reminder that is!

I love the first chapter of the gospel principles manual titled "Our Father in Heaven". It talks about the nature and image of God and how we can we get to know him.

Link to Gospel Principles-Our Father in Heaven

I also love this video of the complexity and vastness of the universe and life on this Earth. This is such a testament to me of our Creator.

Link to Youtube video of universe

One of my favorites

 

Day 2

 

It's Saturday morning again and my second shift at the temple will start in a couple of hours. I was in a fairly good mood and headed over to the distribution center with my letter in hand that read: for first time ordinance workers we could receive a discount on one dress and one pair of shoes. As I arrived at the store, the Sister to greet me made me feel like I was in the temple already with her warmth and kindness. She helped me to pick out a new dress to order and a new pair of comfy white shoes. 

  

I checked out and walked to the car. I opened the car door to hear, riiiiippp. The capri pants I was wearing tore. Tears began to pour like a faucet. I knew I had put on weight since my recent surgery and I know these pants were probably 10+ years old, and had been washed atleast 50 times over the summers, but still the event of it happening was so upsetting. I sat in the car and tried to think positively. In prayer, I expressed my gratitude for it not happening in the store as I bent over to try on shoes. The humiliation would have been unbearable. 

As I drove away the tears didn't stop. I called Hen. I told him what happened. He being the best husband as always said "who cares about that", "those were old pants", "no upset". He has always been so kind to me when it comes to these situations. So many husbands would have responded with, "You should lose weight", "It's your own fault". I'm not saying those things aren't true, but in that moment that is the last thing you want to hear. And I am so grateful to him for always saying the right thing in those moments. 

As I drove home I thought about my weight. For those that know me, know I never talk about it. Not only is it the "elephant in the room", and people are kind enough not to mention it, but I am in fact that elephant. I have not always been this size, believe it or not. The weight didn't come on until college after I had been on some medication that drastically changed my metabolism. Then after years of bad choices and not enough exercise, that has brought me to where I am today. I am sure so many in my life can't fathom why I haven't done anything about it up to this point, and I am grateful that no one bothers me about it. The funny thing is I had actually lost almost 30 pounds last year prior to my surgery in February and then strict rules after my surgery for 6 weeks of basically not doing anything was enough for me to put it all back on. And since it was covid and no one saw me, they didn't know I had actually accomplished that small feat. But it was all for nothing, and I probably weigh more than I ever have now, but I don't even want to look at a scale to find out. 

I know you are thinking Kara, it's just math. Eat fewer calories and burn more calories and you will drop the weight in no time. But for whatever reason, this a trial I have caused myself to endure and I haven't had the willpower to overcome it yet. So I appreciate the continued patience around me of letting me figure this weakness out on my own because frankly I don't want to talk about it. 

As I drove home I was reminded of what is positive about being so overweight, or morbidly obese as some doctors like to remind you. Everyday that I carry this weight helps me not to judge others. We all sin differently and I can never cast any stones because all I have to do is look in the mirror. I believe carrying this weight has given me the ability to have so much compassion for others over the years and I am grateful for that. That person over there addicted to alcohol, that person over there addicted to drugs, or addicted to tattoos or any other kind of addiction, I feel like we are all in the same boat, battling our addictions for the world to see. When the truth is everyone has an addiction in some way shape or form, but not everyone literally wears it for everyone to see everyday of their life. The funny part that you may find hard to believe, is that I actually 99% of the time forget that I am fat, until an event like this happens or I go up a staircase and can't catch my breath. Even when I look in mirrors, I am always looking at my face more than the rest of my body. So these experiences always wake me up to the harsh reality of what I have done to my body over the years.

The tears continued until I got home, and as I ate my lunch. Hen wiped my tears away as he passed by. I didn't even want to eat, but knew that I would not feel well at the temple if I didn't eat before I went. I would have definitely had heartburn at the very least for not eating and would have possibly have felt faint since it was 1pm already and I had skipped breakfast.

I was finally able to feel a little better as I showed off my new temple shoes and my temple name tag to Hen. I started to get excited that I was going to the temple again.

He left for work at the same time I was leaving for the temple, we waved and he said "you will do great, don't worry!" He knew I was nervous because today would be the first day I would be performing a ceremony I had never done before. 

I drove to the temple keeping a close eye on the speedometer. I didn't want to speed this week. I checked for the policeman by the golf course, he wasn't there. As I drove, I said a prayer of gratitude for working air conditioning in the car as the outside temperature reflected 100 degrees. The ac felt so cool and refreshing. I also expressed gratitude for that sweet sister at the store earlier. I was so grateful for her kindness before my upsetting situation. It is such a great reminder that we should be kind to everyone because you never know what battles they are facing or are about to face.

It felt nice to be on week two and know at least where to go and what to do in small ways. I went straight to the locker room and changed into my temple whites which are a white blouse, a white skirt, white stockings, and white shoes (my new comfy shoes). I got there early enough that I had a few moments to ponder before our training started while a sister played hymns at the piano. 

I sang the lyrics in my head. 

One song in particular stood out to me because of the events of that morning, in particular verses 2-4. 

1. Savior, may I learn to love thee,

Walk the path that thou hast shown,

Pause to help and lift another,

Finding strength beyond my own.

Savior, may I learn to love thee—

Lord, I would follow thee.

2. Who am I to judge another

When I walk imperfectly?

In the quiet heart is hidden

Sorrow that the eye can’t see.

Who am I to judge another?

Lord, I would follow thee.

3. I would be my brother’s keeper;

I would learn the healer’s art.

To the wounded and the weary

I would show a gentle heart.

I would be my brother’s keeper—

Lord, I would follow thee.

4. Savior, may I love my brother

As I know thou lovest me,

Find in thee my strength, my beacon,

For thy servant I would be.

Savior, may I love my brother—

Lord, I would follow thee.

I love this song, probably because I can relate to it so much. In my "quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see", and because of this I show a "gentle heart" as much as possible to those around me because I know we are all "wounded and weary" in one way or another. I'm not perfect at this but really do try to reflect on myself before passing judgement on others. It is definitely not something that comes naturally to any of us, but is something I have worked on over the years to be a little better at everyday.

Of course the tears returned as I felt comforted by the Holy Ghost, that while this trial of mine may be self inflicted, it is one that has a purpose for me to learn from while in this mortal existence.

As I sat in our prayer meeting looking around at all the beautiful sisters, I literally felt like I was in the presence of angels. The light of Christ shines so brightly through their eyes and through their countenance. Their smiles bring so much peace and calmness to my heart when I see them. As I was admiring them, a line from my patriarchal blessing was brought to the forefront of my mind "You will be called to responsible positions in the Church. You will do those things that are accomplished by the most faithful women of the Church." 

I was taken back, I definitely don't see myself as "one of the most faithful women of the Church." I have such a long way to go, but I am grateful that our Heavenly Father sees us for what we can become and not just what we are at that moment. 

I am grateful for patriarchal blessings that teach us different things at different times in our life and that remind us who we are, why we are here, and what we can accomplish through our obedience and faithfulness. My patriarchal blessing has brought me so much comfort over the years. I received it when I was 16 and while some blessings may not come in this life, I have faith they can come in the next.

After our prayer meeting and training for some changes that would be happening as phase 3 starts this week, it was then time to go and perform sacred ordinances for those who may have accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ into their lives in the Spirit World and are waiting for us to perform these for them by proxy.

There is a double staircase that goes up to the 1st floor from the lower level. Last week I had "run" up the stairs, because again, I forgot that I was fat and was in a hurry, and literally couldn't catch my breath for like 2 minutes after and looked ridiculous in front of some other sisters. So I thought I would avoid that this week by taking the elevator.

I walked to the elevator to find 3 sisters waiting there to go up. They seemed to all know each other and were going to be serving at the Layton temple as soon as it opened up. They had carpooled together and appeared to have known each other for a long time. Because the elevator took longer than usual we had more time to chat and get to know each other. 

We made it to the room where we would be performing these special ordinances. There were probably a total of 20 sisters there all together. As they started to separate the groups into fours the ladies I rode the elevator with stood up and motioned to me to come be apart of their group. I don't think I have mentioned it yet, but there isn't anyone on my shift that I know. Their warm invitation brought joy to my heart.  Because of the sacred spiritual nature of these ordinances, I won't go into detail, but I can share with you that it was a special experience to get to perform those ordinances for those who had passed on. At one point or another as the 4 of us rotated doing the 5 names, each of us was touched by the spirit at a different time, as quiet tears slowly ran down our cheeks. As we finished we all commented on the joy we know those sisters felt to have their work done. One sister commented, I did not know I would feel the spirit so strong, another said, those sisters were so kind to let us do their work even though we are just learning, another sister with a strong Australian accent said, the spirit was on fire in there! We all exchanged hugs, having bonded over such a sweet experience.

After that we were done for the night and got to go home a little early. I felt such a peace as I left the temple. I always feel at peace when I leave the temple, but something felt a little bit different today. I think it was an additional calmness that had come over me after being able to participant in something so special and being in the presence of those earthly angels. Additionally I had also felt the love of our Savior through the Holy Ghost that I was where I was supposed to be and doing what they needed me to do. 

That is why I love the quote at the top of this page that I came across "There are two types of tired: One that requires rest, and one that requires peace". In my life I have only been able to feel this peace when I have drawn nearer to our Savior through prayer, through uplifting music, repentance, obedience, and most of all, time spent in the temple. Our souls truly need peace. Just like our bodies need air to breathe, our souls need rest from the world from time to time. 

I arrived home and fell asleep quickly, mentally and emotionally exhausted from the events of the day. Later on I picked up my sister in the golf cart and we came back and sat in the hottub for a while. It was nice just to chat and float around. I am glad she lives so close, I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I do. I am grateful for the time we have been able to spend together since she moved around the corner. 

Inspiration

The truth of this quote has been evident in my life time and time again. I can't tell you how many times I have read the same scripture for the 10th time and at some point my understanding is increased and the words not only make more sense but have application in my own life. We all have spiritual gifts, even if we don't realize it. I love this chapter in Gospel Principles called The Gifts of the Spirit. What gifts do you think you have? How has the Holy Ghost influenced your Spiritual Gifts?

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-22-the-gifts-of-the-spirit?lang=eng

The Lord has said: “For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby” (D&C 46:11–12).

To develop our gifts, we must find out which gifts we have. We do this by praying and fasting. We should seek after the best gifts (see D&C 46:8). Sometimes patriarchal blessings will help us know which gifts we have been given.

My first day as a temple worker...

It's Saturday morning. Hen has taken the day off from work to do some school work, so he leaves around 8 to head to campus. The house is an absolute mess. I have not had any energy lately to stay on top of things. I think the Lord knew I needed my mind to be free of distractions and so gave me the energy to put my house in order before heading to the temple.  I am always less stressed when my house isn't a mess. I spent the next 4 hours doing dishes, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning out fridge and freezer etc. At noon I needed to go pickup groceries, I wanted to get the car washed, and grab some quick lunch before I had to race back home, put groceries away, eat and finish getting ready for my first shift at the temple. 

Miracle 1- Decided to get my car washed and normally on a Saturday, all three lanes are always full and it takes a min of 15 minutes of waiting to get to your turn. Today there wasn't a single car there and I went straight through.

Miracle 2- Went to pick up my clicklist groceries at Smiths. Again on a Saturday, at noon, and there wasn't a soul there. My groceries were loaded in less than 5 minutes.

Miracle 3- Went to grab some food and the line at all the surrounding places had a line full of cars, but this one only had one car in front of me. 

Somehow make it home with enough time to finish everything I need and even pass Henry on the way out of the driveway to head to the temple to be there at 1:45. And seriously I can't stress how every single minute from noon on had been accounted for, there was no extra time.

Miracle 4- this is the biggest one of them all. I was driving faster than I should have when I got to the golf course on Bountiful Blvd. 40 mph in a 30 mph zone to be exact as I came up over the hill to have a motorcycle officer with a speed gun pointed directly at me. Obviously I slowed down immediately, but no way in time for him to not have clocked me going 40. I was like ok, here we go, there is no way he isn't pulling me over. And honestly that isn't like me to be speeding through a residential area, I think it was a combination of excitement and nervousness to not be late that I was driving faster than usual. I had accepted my fate, passed the cop and expected to see those red lights in my mirror. But they never came. I am not sure why he didn't pull me over, he was definitely in the right to, but must just not have been meant to be.

I pull up to the temple and there were tons of cars parked around the perimeter. I was really surprised. As of now in Phase II, youth are able to baptisms, but the only other ordinances being performed are for individuals doing their own work. What I failed to realize is that it is June and wedding season, so there were quite a few weddings going on. I parked in the lower parking lot as I had been instructed to and walked through the lower level down to the baptistry to take the elevator up the recommend desk. As I walked through the baptistry waiting area, there were youth spread out everywhere. It made my heart so happy to see them there. And the feeling that things were starting to get back to normal.

I got on the elevator with two other sisters and asked them what floor? They both looked at me blankly. I said sorry, it was a joke, there is only one choice. 

As I entered the foyer and recommend desk area there were people everywhere. What a wonderful sight!

I proceeded through after my recommend scan was successful (I wasn't going to make that mistake twice) then headed down the hall and down the stairs to the cafeteria area, then was directed back to the locker rooms. 

I was assigned a locker and immediately was meeting and visiting other sisters on my shift. Their smiles and the light in their eyes was so kind and welcoming! I changed into my temple whites and had my picture taken. I received my name tag and felt so official. It was really real. I was now a temple worker. We then had training for 2 hours with the temple presidents wife and then I had the opportunity to do an endowment session. It was so wonderful! The spirit I felt with the sisters in our time training was overwhelming. As I sat there in the prep room learning how to help others feel the love of our Savior in the temple, I felt so much love myself. I realized how much the Savior and our Heavenly Father were in the details of not only my whole life to prepare me for this new chapter, but that day. While I know it is probably silly to someone those items that were miracles to me, I have learned, in my life, that there are no coincidences. Everything has a purpose, no matter how small.

The temple presidents wife said that people who are making appointments in phase 3 are clear out to November and December and that already 10,000 appointments had been made. I couldn't help but feel so blessed to get to now be spending 4 hours a week in the temple and not have to make an appointment to do so. So many people will be waiting months and months and months just to do one name and now I get to be here every week.  

I learned in this training that I will be assigned a different floor each month. One month I may be assigned to the bottom floor which is the Baptistry. Then the next month I may assigned to main floor to help with clothing, or locker rooms, or initiatories. And another month I could be assigned to the top floor for assisting with the endowment sessions. I am excited it will be setup this way. That way I can try to master one floor before moving onto another. I have also learned that there is so much to learn! 

When you are patron going through for yourself or by proxy, you don't realize the organized ant farm that is the temple. There is so much to learn but what is most important is helping the patrons to have the best experience possible! A smile goes a long way, kindness goes a long way, quiet reverence goes a long way! And there is no reason to rush anything. There is time. The Lord doesn't rush our progress and gives us all the time we need to progress. Likewise we must be patient and do the same for those visiting the temple. I have to admit I take a bit after my Dad and like things to run smoothly and efficiently. This will be an area I need to work on to slow down and realize everything will happen as it needs to. 

I was so grateful to get to do an endowment session and felt such a peace to serve a Sister who had passed, with her work. As I entered the celestial room I found my favorite chair by the window. It is my favorite chair, because it is the chair Henry proposed to me while I sat in 13 years earlier. We had gone on a date to the temple to do sealings late one night in May I think. After the sealings we went into the celestial room. He sat down in the chair next to me. After some time, he proceeded down onto one knee, asked me "Will you marry me?" and without even giving me a second to respond, put a ring on my finger and sat back down in his chair. 

Sitting in this chair always brings me back to that sweet memory and makes me think back to that time. I would never have thought at that time that 13 years later we would be living in North Salt Lake, and both be working in the temple at our young ages of 37 and almost 40. I always thought temple workers were for kids getting ready to go on missions or empty nesters and retirees.

Sitting in "my chair" today, I was calm, I was at peace. As overwhelming as everything would be to learn, I didn't worry about that. My humble prayer was of gratitude for getting me here after over a year and preparing me for this next adventure in my life among other things and for rain that we so desperately need.

I stayed in the peace and quiet and beauty of the Celestial room until everyone except for me and one other sister were there alone. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. It felt like I was visiting Heaven. The stress of life and world felt so far away. Some of my favorite hymns played on repeat in my mind as I pondered scriptures I had read and the life of our Savior. 

I was so grateful Hen was home with the dogs, so I could just stay as long as I needed. I stayed in that room for atleast 40 minutes before leaving around 6:45. It is always so hard to leave that room. I always take one last glance backward as I walk out the door. I made my way back down to the new locker rooms I would be using from now on. The path was becoming more familiar. 

One of my favorite things about the temple are the smiles of all of the temple workers. They are so calming and comforting. They bring such a special spirit that can be felt by all. As you pass each one you are uplifted.

One of the stories shared in our training was that of a 4 year old boy who came to the temple to be sealed to his parents. When asked what was his favorite part, he said all the kind grandmas in their white nightgowns. That is my new goal, to be one of those kind grandmas in their nightgowns so that all who come here can feel the love the Savior has for them.

I am looking forward to next week when I get to go again. What a wonderful new adventure and blessing!

The interview with a member of the temple presidency...

 I drove to the Bountiful Temple with so much excitement. It had been over a year since I had been inside a temple, let alone my favorite temple. This temple is my favorite because I have spent more time here than any other temple. I have so many memories of special spiritual experiences and it really just feels like home. I pulled into the upper level parking lot to find it mostly empty. It was nice to get a spot closer to the door but so sad at the same time, when precovid this place would have been packed. 

As I walked to the front doors I see a couple in their wedding dress and suit taking pictures. The bride was so beautiful and I was so excited for them to get to start on their journey by being sealed in the temple. I thought back to how young Henry and I were when we made those first steps almost 13 year ago.

I went through the front doors and was probably grinning from ear to ear, I was so excited to set foot in a temple again. 

I pulled out my recommend and the Brother at the desk scanned it. "Sister, your recommend is expired". 

Oh no! You have got to be kidding me! In my rush and excitement of going to the temple after over a year, I had forgotten to swap out my expired recommend with my renewed one, that had been renewed in the summer of last year. Day one, I have already failed.... and my interview is supposed be in the next ten minutes!

Luckily the Brother was able to track down the clerk quickly to look up my name in the system to see that I had in fact renewed my recommend.

Within five minutes the clerk returned and escorted me back to the administration offices. I sat on a couch waiting for my interview. I tried to read an ensign but was just too distracted. I sat and closed my eyes. It felt so peaceful to just sit there. I still couldn't believe I was sitting in the temple. It just felt like I had come home after a long journey. 

When it was my turn to meeting with a member of the temple presidency he went over some of the logistics of serving in the temple and told me he would be the new temple president come November. He told me that my bishop spoke highly of me in recommending me, which caught me off guard. I mean I didn’t expect my Bishop to say negative things, it was more or less just a reminder that we leave an impact on people we don’t even realize most of the time.  After deciding on a shift, Saturday from 2:30-6:30, starting with Phase 3. Phase 3 would be when patrons could come and do proxy work for all ordinances by appointment only. He then told me he would set me apart as a temple worker in the Bountiful Temple. I didn't realize it would be happening so fast. I wish I could remember the beautiful things he said in that blessing. But I do remember the tears streaming down my face as I felt so much love from Heavenly Father and my Savior that I was meant to do this and that they were proud of me for accepting this calling. 

At this point I didn't have a start date but felt additional strength that day as I walked out of the temple. I am sure I walked out with more angels than I walked in with. I truly felt different after being set apart. I thought to myself, I wonder if this is what it feels like to be set apart as a missionary, since I have never had that opportunity. 

The week before my interview in the temple...

Once I found out I was going to be meeting with a member of the temple presidency on May 5th, Satan decided that was his cue to jump into my mind and try to discourage me in any way that he could. He quickly brought to the forefront of my mind all of my imperfections and shortcomings and decided to put those on repeat for the days leading up to my interview. Daily making me question my worthiness to go. During this time, I came across several things that really touched my heart and helped me to know that I was worthy and that I was going to be ok. And then we sang in church that Sunday, Be Still, My Soul. When we sang the "The Lord is on thy side" the Holy Ghost spoke peace to my mind and my heart that everything was going to be ok, and that I was worthy to go into Lord's house to serve there. 

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev’ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.


2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.


3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.


Additionally I had come a cross a scripture in come  follow me that morning that was in the opening section. It almost seemed out of place after reading the whole lesson that was actually more focused on the second coming. These scriptures were truly an answer to prayers I had been having all week. 
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   D&C 45:3-5
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3. These scriptures reminded me of the simplicity of the gospel. At that moment I needed that reminder that our Savior is our advocate with the Father. That he loves us, and if we sincerely believe on his name we can have everlasting life.

4.  The Holy Ghost brought peace to my mind and my heart in that sacrament meeting and I ended up bearing my testimony of these experiences that day to our ward.

5. Here some of the memes I came across during this time that also helped to uplift me and overcome Satan's tricks.


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